At the end of the day...what all I've got is one more question...

Its been quite long since I wrote my last blog ....During this one year's time I was busy with my last sem exams...then came to Pune...Did a lil struggle to get a job offcampus. Got a very nice job...n finally, one of my dreams came true...I started workin as a software engineer...Everythin seems to be the way I wanted...but somewhere, deep down in the core of my being, I am unstatisifed...If I sit face to face with myself and ask a few questions...then I come across the same answers..Yes, this is not the destination, the level I am at....I want to move further...I want to fly higher...There are plenty of things I want to achieve...I want a new perspective on life! But... what and how ?? and why can't I clearly figure things out??

Well...I keep on struggling with my strong emotions... but that's of no use...I know I was never this much confused...Confusion...regardin what? My carrer?? No...its my life which always bugs me! Am I happy? Yes, if I'll see it from the point of view of a career oriented girl...I don't hav any reason to sound so dull...I am into a gud job...After a year or two, I'll switch to some other company...higher salary...gud designation...I mean...everythin is fine...isn't it?

Is this all for me?? No...I want much more than this from my life....and I don't hav the option of sittin quiet and just hopin for everythin to be the way I always wanted...Life has to give me what I have longed for...but I don't know when...this is somethin on which I don't hav any control...This is what that makes me feel frustrated at times...Why can't I decide for myself?? Why can't I plan the order of how things happen in my life...

I know this won't lead me anywhere...I will keep on annoyin myself by askin these questions....I know what do I want from life...but this helplessness will kill me someday...Sometimes I think I should stop thinkin...havin a complex mind just adds into increased complexity in life...Why not to think like a normal girl....why not to go through the same stages of life of a normal girl...Study...Job...Marriage...children... Simple...huh? Why do I hav a typical way of thinkin...why can't I be like a normal girl...why do I need to be so matured...why?

Well...again...no answers...I know this time I don't hav any answer to these questions....